I'll present an example. I'm with said friend on a Saturday in a public place. At some point one of my guy friends shows up and proceeds to envelop me in conversation. At this time, a middle age woman approaches my female friend, and our story's protagonist, and confesses that she's a beautiful young lady but, and I quote, "as a fellow woman, I am disappointed and repulsed by your appearance". I wish I had not been distracted at that very moment and had the chance to register what I had just heard, if I had I'd verbally jumped all over that woman. In this situation the woman was gone by the time I could collect myself and my poor friend was left shaken, spirit broken.
After this incident, she and I talked at length about the insensitivities of some humans. I've always been taken aback by how an individual thinks that he or she has the right to verbally insult someone if he or she disagrees with them. Their mindset is "I'm offended by you so I'm going to insult you" that is hypocrisy at its worst. This woman disliked my friend's piercings, tattoos and choice of attire so she verbal attacked her. She called her repulsive right after telling her she's a beautiful young woman! She was abrasive and brash and abused her freedom of speech. This awful woman obviously thinks much to highly of her own opinion. She should look beyond her own nose and see that the world is full of individuals and many of them look nothing like her and they all have their own opinions as well.
The point of this essay is not a resolution; after all there is no resolution. In human nature, lines will always be crossed and rules always broken. This is just an observation on the narrow minded nature of some sections of society and the harm it can do when merciless, malicious behavior is displayed. I encourage honesty, however, malice isn't an instrument of truth, it's an instrument of war.
As a professional woman, covered in tattoos, I appreciate this blog post. I've had many people who I don't know approach me and give me their negative opinion of my appearance, when clearly their opinion wasn't solicited. (More often than this, I've also had the extremely awkward experience wherein people come and grab my arm, trying to see my tattoos, as if, ahem, that arm is not connected a person...) But, on the flip side, I've never had a parent comment negatively on my tattoos during open house or parent teacher conference night. As a high school teacher with visible tattoos, this was always a worry for me, but I've never had a parent, administrator, superior, etc. comment on my tattoos except for the occasional "so you're the teacher with the tattoos- my daughter loves you!", etc. I do think is it sad, though, that some people feel the need and/or right to tell another person what they think of their appearance, lifestyle choice etc. I have never walked up to a complete stranger and told them how ugly their outfit was or ask what in the world they were thinking when they chose that shade of lipstick. Why would I? Everyone judges, that's human nature, we have no control over those thoughts. But we DO have control over whether or not we express those thoughts or inflict them on another person.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for the post and the thoughts- I appreciated it!
You couldn't be more right with your assessment. It is certainly natural human behavior to judge and often discriminate against things that are opposite of the individuals personal beliefs or understanding. But to you point, it is a respectable individual's responsibility to know when to display tact and discretion when appropriate.
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