Hypocrisy on a molecular level

Hypocrisy is universal. It is embedded deep inside all of us; it's in our DNA. We, at times unknowingly, say one thing and then do another. Let's be honest, we are all guilty of this. Those of us that deny it only further prove the point. I paraphrase the following quote from the great Japanese filmmaker Akira Kurosawa; "each of us are incapable of talking about ourselves honestly."

Individuals throughout history have devoted substantial time and often life's work uncovering and exposing this reality. Ambitious individuals write books, make films and even record music based on the absurdity of human nature. The best of them find that perfect balance between the drama and humor of the human condition. For example, one of my favorite filmmakers, Luis Bunuel had done this as well as anyone. 

Bunuel spent his glorious career making surreal comedies based on the true satire that is bourgeois lifestyle. In front of his camera hypocrisy is as palpable as a goat walking into a formal dining room-in some of his pictures quite literally. How hilarious it is to experience an individual attempting to exude importance in front of esteemed guest with leaves sticking to his or her hair after rushing in following an afternoon tryst in the bushes. How I roll with laughter seeing a well groomed man dressed in a designer suit caught rolling around in a woman's closet, fondling a pile of shoes. 

Satire is a wonderful format to shed light on the ludicrous habits of human beings. The stories may seem exaggerated or perhaps ridiculous, however, I believer in real life these realities are living and breathing behind closes doors and often behind lock and key. Ask yourself this...how many people, if any, have you revealed a hundred perfect of yourself to, all your fantasies and fetishes and deep dark secrets? 

I've prided myself in being a fairly honest person overall. I've tried hard to be as honest as possible to those I'm closest to. Obviously however, I too am a hypocrite and have embellished stories of my past, told blatant lies at times and have secrets I'll probably never reveal. 

What I find fascinating is how many people can recognize details of others lives while entirely oblivious to that of their own existence. Some people would condemn others for things they've done themselves. Consider stories of individuals caught in acts they're perceived to be against, activities that contradict their public persona. How often people make vows that they don't even intend on keeping, law officers breaking the law, religious authorities committing the worst of sins. As we'll all go along judging others yet refusing judgement of ourselves, we should keep in mind that words can be harsh but if spoken with a focus on the truth of the matter, our speeches could be more of a comment on human nature than slander of an individual's own character. 

I challenge society to speak openly and honestly about the details of life, just as Bunuel did so effectively in his films. If we expose the cold, hard facts about everyday life it may offend the majority, although not without asking pertinent questions about our values as a whole. Certainly the most uptight of us will be offended by anything questioning our lifestyles and beliefs. If you believe that everything you do is void of farce than its doubtful that you'll ever look objectively at yourself or anything else around you. 

It's a wonder how long we've been this way. It's unlikely the Cro-Magnon's struggled with this. Also, some cultures, those thought of as "lower class", live more primitively and typically without masks and hidden agendas. It's the middle and upper class societies that usually fit the mold. It may be our society itself that's caused this sensitivity. We shouldn't use certain words or phrases. We have to talk a certain way and fall somewhere in the "politically correct" tones of dialogue. We try to live within particular guidelines based on a random set of rules. Hypocrisy is our way of balancing on the tight rope. If we act appropriately than we'll be perceived as having good values and therefore incapable of making mistakes. There are times when a line is crossed and people get hurt. Most people recognize that line and, though occasionally going outside the acceptable boundaries, will never cross that line. Having said that, most people have thoughts they are uncomfortable admitting to and some act out in ways they'd have trouble justifying if caught in the act. That's what hypocrisy is all about- the ability to say what sounds good to others and than act the way you want to anyway. 

There is a fine line between exploitation and censorship. I'm not saying we should go out and do horrible things and be honest about it. All I'm debating is how liberating it would be to be honest about the thoughts we have trouble ignoring. Those of us healthy enough to know the difference between right and wrong have no need to fear an imaginary line we'd never cross anyway. We can speak candidly, be the proverbial voice of the masses and commiserate with our fellow humans. We can laugh together, cry together, poke fun at one another; realizing, making fun of you is making fun of me. The most inspirational individuals in our lives should not be the ones that stand before us shouting fairy tales and insincerities but the ones who look us in the eye and tells us exactly how they feel. 

Bunuel, Dali, Spike Lee, Martin Luther King, the Sex Pistols, they are a few of the people who've spoke volumes to me. I've been inspired by their willingness to express the thoughts and beliefs most haven't the courage to disclose. I desire to find my medium to follow in the footsteps. That's the reason I write poetry and essays. I say this knowing full well that I am a hypocrite and will always be one. Just as they did, I stand tall declaring that I am human; fickle, pretentious and completely ordinary. 

In closing, I dream of a world free of deception. Think of how liberating it would be to accept the fact that you're not perfect. Consider the sense of relief in knowing you don't have to meet a standard or have to tell dishonesties to be accepted. Remember this, outside your door is others like you, living to disguise their insecurities and indiscretions. They too, with all their own secrets and idiosyncrasies, would be thrilled to know that we all share a common thread: Respective pieces of a very imperfect puzzle. 

From the Ground Up

It's amazing to me, when the opportunity presents itself, how little people praise one another. Understand, I'm not referring to pretentious and political award ceremonies where a group of individuals gather in a fancy ballroom and stroke each others large egos, I'm talking about us everyday, working class people. When was the last time you've witnessed someone genuinely acknowledging the work, effort, attitude or any other attribute of another person? Before you answer, underline the word genuinely and judge appropriately. 

I've been active in the workplace now for nearly 17 years and have only witnessed leaders and/or peers praising their employees and/or co-workers a handful of times. Again, I'm talking sincere, out-of-your-way, unprompted praise; not that of an evaluation or appraisal. On the other hand, witnessing criticism in the workplace and the outside world is as common as the Earth's rotation. Everyday of the week people are judged for their looks, clothes, job, lifestyle, etc, etc. At the workplace the boss drops work on you and then displays disappointment when it doesn't exceed expectations; no "A" for effort awarded here. 

The point I'm trying to make is this-an attempt should be made to build each other up. An individual can do more good with encouragement than ridicule. I'm not just referring to work, we should highlight one another's positive physical and character traits more often. Tell your friends and family how great they are, not after they've done something for you, at any and all moments possible. Be kinder to strangers. I'm not saying you'll run into angels everyday, but don't take out frustrations caused by insensitive types on innocent people. It's time to evaluate the way we treat others and look at it objectively, have we lost sight of treating others as we wished to be?

I'll give you an example of someone building me up when, conceivably, the rest of the world kicked me down. I was a poor student most of my youth, due to social awkwardness and a lack of guidance and confidence. At one point I was very near failing for the year. It seemed that all my teachers lost faith in me. All my peers look at me as a rebellious, cocky slacker. I was perceived to be hopeless and rightfully so. 

However there was one teacher, in communications, that found some glimmer of potential somewhere inside of me. She was a fantastic person with a dynamic personality and unmatched passion in her work. She was also an avid film lover. She gave me a chance to turn my failing grade around with one project at the end of the year. She explained that it wouldn't be fair to pass me if I only gave a mediocre effort, I would have to ace it. She was justified in doing this based on my withdrawal the rest of the year. What she did for me was invaluable. Not only did her encouragement motivate me to pass her class, it inspired me to put forth the same effort in the rest of my classes to go on and pass that year. On top of all that, her lessons on filmmaking also led to my discovery of inner love for the medium; which proved to be prolific later in life. 

 

With all this in mind, I've made a conscious effort to practice what I preach. In my leadership role in the workplace and in my role as friend and family member, I've devoted a lot of time building people up. I'm not claiming to wear rose colored glasses and walking around offering up compliments like they're in endless supply, I just do my best to point out positives every chance I get which takes the sting out of criticisms when they come, which they inevitably do. 

In closing, I'm suggesting we consider the good that can come from warranted encouragement. Remember, we're all designed to fail at times, how motivating it is however with a hand reached out, offering to help you back up. 

A Sad Exhibition of Close-mindedness

I've a friend that is a unique non-conformist. She's got piercings and tattoos and a borderline punk rock appearance. She's also kind, compassionate and a hard worker. However, more often than should be allowed, she's been persecuted merely for her appearance.  

I'll present an example. I'm with said friend on a Saturday in a public place. At some point one of my guy friends shows up and proceeds to envelop me in conversation. At this time, a middle age woman approaches my female friend, and our story's protagonist, and confesses that she's a beautiful young lady but, and I quote, "as a fellow woman, I am disappointed and repulsed by your appearance". I wish I had not been distracted at that very moment and had the chance to register what I had just heard, if I had I'd verbally jumped all over that woman. In this situation the woman was gone by the time I could collect myself and my poor friend was left shaken, spirit broken. 

After this incident, she and I talked at length about the insensitivities of some humans. I've always been taken aback by how an individual thinks that he or she has the right to verbally insult someone if he or she disagrees with them. Their mindset is "I'm offended by you so I'm going to insult you" that is hypocrisy at its worst. This woman disliked my friend's piercings, tattoos and choice of attire so she verbal attacked her. She called her repulsive right after telling her she's a beautiful young woman! She was abrasive and brash and abused her freedom of speech. This awful woman obviously thinks much to highly of her own opinion. She should look beyond her own nose and see that the world is full of individuals and many of them look nothing like her and they all have their own opinions as well. 

The point of this essay is not a resolution; after all there is no resolution. In human nature, lines will always be crossed and rules always broken. This is just an observation on the narrow minded nature of some sections of society and the harm it can do when merciless, malicious behavior is displayed. I encourage honesty, however, malice isn't an instrument of truth, it's an instrument of war. 

To listen or not to listen

Effective intros are too often relied upon an exaggerated story or a flat out fabrication, you won't get that here. I am an insignificant spot on a vast landscape. I am essentially nothing special, simply a physical specimen of genetic makeup. This is my blog of thoughts and opinions, stories and theories-nothing more, nothing less. 

Truth has always been the goal for me. I dislike dishonesty and deception. I'd much rather be hurt by truth than deceived by lies. I've prided myself in being honest and fair. I've no interest in making things out to be more than they are. I'm certainly not the smartest or the wittiest or the most cultural individual out there and I'm not going to make any false claims. There is a gulf between those who look at themselves and everything around them objectively and those who can't look beyond themselves and, figuratively, see the forest for the trees. 

I recognize that many eyes may gaze my way and think not twice about what he or she has read. I'm not aiming to captivate everybody, the reward is in reaching somebody. If I can inspire just one person and find a common ground to which we stand united, than words can have meaning regardless how obscure and insignificant it may seem on the surface. 

I hope those who choose to listen find value and those who choose not to, I hope they find enjoyment elsewhere.